Kids, I told you stories
about all the big holidays--
Christmas...
Halloween...
Thanksgiving...
but one holiday was
always my favorite--
Super Bowl Sunday.
And there was one
Super Bowl back in 2007
that I will never forget.
Marshall, you're
on beer detail.
Lily, you're making
the bean dip.
Uh, Robin,
you're on chips and pretzels,
and Barney,
I'm giving you nothing to do
so you can just focus on
controlling your gambling problem.
"Problem."
Oh, poor Superman,
he should really do something
about his flying problem.
It's not a problem if
you're awesome at it.
And I will be going to Quinn's to
pick up the world's greatest food,
the Super Bowl
Hot Wings Platter.
If I were a chicken,
I'd go cannibal for those bad boys.
Just eat my own damn wing off.
I don't care.
I'm crazy like that.
Here's the info
for tomorrow night.
What's tomorrow night?
Oh, God, you didn't hear?
Mark died.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my gosh.
The funeral's tomorrow at 6:00,
and I know
it would have meant a
lot to Mark if you came.
You guys were his
favorite customers.
- Stay strong.
- We're so sorry.
Who was Mark?
- No idea.
- Not a clue.
Well, I guess we
should go, right?
Wait... tomorrow night at 6:00,
that's the Super Bowl.
Okay, I feel terrible,
but the truth is we didn't know Mike.
- Mark.
- Mark,
and as long as we send flowers,
I can't think of any
reason we'd have to go.
Get out of here!
I never want to see your
face in this bar again!
This soulless bastard just told me
he can't come to Mark's funeral
because he wants to
watch the Super Bowl.
Could you believe that?
You guys are coming, right?
Yes... Wouldn't
miss for the world.
Okay, here's the plan :
record the game,
go to the funeral,
- pay our respects to Matt...
- Mark.
Mark, and start watching
only an hour late.
Okay, that's great,
but just to make sure it records,
maybe we should bow our
heads and say a quiet prayer
to the TiVo gods.
Almighty TiVo,
we thank you for all the
gifts you have given us:
the power to freeze live
TV to go take a leak
is nothing short of Godlike.
Let's not forget fast-forwarding
through commercials.
It seems greedy to ask
anything more from you,
O magic box,
but if you malfunction
and miss the Super Bowl,
we will destroy you in the
alley with baseball bats.
- Amen.
- Amen.
We are not fast-forwarding
through the commercials.
Yeah, they're the best part.
Oh, come on.
Remember last year?
Who wants to watch a monkey in
a coconut bra order a pizza?
Oh, my God.
This monkey was so cute.
Seriously, that's the last
time I'm gonna call you today.
Okay.
Good-bye.
You didn't hang up either!
I know! You hang up!
You hang up!
My bookie. Great guy.
So let me get this straight. A funeral
is the one time you don't suit up?
Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
Virtually.
Suits are full of joy.
They're the sartorial
equivalent of a baby's smile.
"Sartorial"?
"Of or pertaining to
tailors or their trade."
Suits are for the living.
That's why when it's
my time to R.I.P.
I'm going out of this world
the same way I came into it--
buck naked. Yeah.
It's gonna be awesome.
Open bar for the guys,
open casket for the ladies.
What up?!
- Such a waste.
- I know.
He was so young.
A hand-stitched, cashmere,
double-breasted Dolce & Gabbana.
It must be so frightened.
This is going faster
than I thought.
We'll make an appearance
at the bar for the wake,
we'll be watching
the game by 8:00.
And even though we
didn't see any whales,
Mark and I both said it was
the best day of our lives.
Okay, I'm getting
us another round.
And when I come back,
everyone else is telling
their favorite Mark story.
Dibs on the one Carl just told.
Okay, I have to be at work
exactly one Super Bowl from now.
Oh, let's face it,
we're not going to get to watch it.
We should just find
out the score.
Oh, thank God! I'll find out.
No, no, no, we can't!
We have to watch the game together.
It's tradition.
Think of all the great times
we've had watching this game.
Second down, everyone drink.
Ted, it's not a drinking game
if you drink anytime
anything happens.
Are these chicken
wings or angel wings?
God, I love these things.
I love you guys.
This is so great, all of us
watching the Super Bowl together.
This is special.
We need to do this every year--
promise me!
Calm down, buddy.
Oh, commercials!
Everyone drink!
God, this is such a great tradition,
all of us watching the game together.
How did this start?
Hey, Barney, I bet you 20 bucks
that Casey misses this field goal.
I don't bet.
Betting's for suckers.
Make it like a dollar or something,
you know. Who cares? No big deal.
Fine.
See, there you go, he made it.
You win.
Wait. This is mine,
just like that?
God, that feels good.
No, that feels really... good.
What else can we bet on?
Nothing, it's the
halftime show.
Oh, so lame.
Nobody even pays attention.
I mean, Janet Jackson,
who cares?
God, how cool is Robin?
I can't believe you invited this girl
we've only known for a few months
to our sacred day.
Now she's gonna be
in all the pictures.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'll give you the Seahawks
plus six points for 500 bucks.
Are you crazy? Maybe for $50.
$50?! What fun is $50?!
Why don't we just bet air?!
God, Marshall!
Okay, $50.
Hey, I'll take that action.
Seahawks, but make it four
points and make it a grand.
Hey, these wings,
are they chicken wings or angel wings?
Oh, commercials!
Monkey with a coconut
bra. Hilarious.
Look, we always watch
the Super Bowl together.
So we make a pact to
watch it tomorrow at 6:00
and go the next 18 hours
without finding out who won.
That's impossible.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
It's not gonna be easy.
That means no TV, no Internet,
no newspapers, nothing.
Media blackout.
But our tradition lives on.
Who's in?
- I'm in.
- I'm in.
- I'm in.
- What the hell, I'm in.
- High five!
- Dude, we're at a wake.
Sorry. Solemn low five.
As the day began, none of us had
any idea how hard it would be
to go nine hours without hearing
the outcome of the Super Bowl.
I decided to work from home
to avoid contamination
by the outside world.
Hey, take this key
and swallow it.
What? No.
Come on, Ted, you eat salads.
It'll be out by game time.
Lots more, no.
I'm not messing
around, Theodore.
I've got a lot of money
riding on this game.
If I don't handcuff
myself to this radiator,
I'll check the score.
Please take the key.
Fine.
But only because you didn't
think through a bathroom plan
and I think that's funny.
The media blackout was
particularly hard on Robin
because, well,
she was the media.
But unfortunately,
the City won't be fixing
the unusually large
pothole any time soon,
so buckle up if
you're on the BQE.
It's gonna be a bumpy one.
Like morning commutes
needed to get any harder.
You're right, Kevin.
Well, Robin, what do you say?
I think it's time to check in with Sid
- for a sports update.
- No!
- What?
- No.
But it's, uh, time for Sports.
No, it's not.
It's time for Weather.
We, we just did Weather.
Well, weather's pretty fickle,
it may have changed.
What's it doing out there, Lou?
Pretty much the same thing
it was two minutes ago.
Back to you, Robin.
Okay, now it's time for Sports.
No! Let's go to Traffic Todd
in the Metro News
1 Gridlock Chopper.
Robin, it's time for Sports!
Over to you, Sid.
Thank you, Kevin and Robin.
Let's talk about
the Super Bowl.
Weeks earlier,
Marshall had promised Lily
he'd come into her kindergarten
class for show-and-tell day.
And he's a little
bit double-jointed...
And his favorite animal
is the Loch Ness monster.
Lily, how many times...?
Nessie is a gentle creature.
We're trying to stay away
from terms like "Monster."
Well, I think we can all agree,
he is much more interesting
than Sally's one-eyed goldfish.
Three weeks in a row?
Come on, Sally.
Okay, well,
that's all the time we have.
Arts and crafts, everybody.
Hey. I'm Doug.
Oh, hey, I'm Marshall.
Are you going to be staying
here for the rest of day?
Yeah, I'm actually
trying to hide out
'cause I don't want to know
who won the Super Bowl.
I know who won.
Oh, um, that's great,
but I really don't want to know,
so if you could just
keep that to yourself.
How badly do you
not want to know?
Excuse me?
Ten bucks.
Are you serious?
Just went up to eight.
Unlock me, Ted.
I've never gone this long
without calling my bookie.
He worries.
Not until game time.
Where are you going?
Pick up the hot wings.
What? How the hell are
you planning on getting
in and out of a sports bar
without seeing the score?
There's TVs everywhere.
Ah, don't worry.
I got it all planned out.
First of all:
I placed duct tape on
a pair of sunglasses
so I can only see out
of two tiny holes.
Next, I constructed blinders
out of an old cereal box.
Top it all off:
high-tech noise-reducing headphones
I bought when Marshall and
Lily first got back together
and were doing it a lot.
I call it the Sensory
Deprivator 5000.
Hello! Uh,
my name is Ted Mosby.
I'm here to pick
up my hot wings.
In my hand, you'll find the
exact total for the wings
plus a generous tip.
Please take the cash.
Put the wings in my hand
and I'll be on my way.
Thank you!
And that closes the book on
one heck of a Super Bowl.
Back to you, Kevin and Robin.
We'll be right back.
And we're clear.
I'm sorry.
Um, Robin, is it just me,
or were you doing
something different there?
I haven't watched the game yet.
I'm begging you,
for the rest of the newscast
there can't be any references
to who won the Super Bowl.
I mean,
change the teleprompter.
No team names,
nothing specific.
That is crazy. I can't do that.
My friend Mark passed
away this week.
Okay, sweety okay.
Okay, I'm so sorry.
Back in five... four...
- three...
- It's just so hard.
Ha! Who's the idiot now?!
You said the Sensory
Deprivator 5000 was stupid.
But it totally worked!
I couldn't see or hear
anything happening around me.
Right?! Right?!
No...!
And if that weren't bad enough,
I was about to have a
horrible realization.
Where's the dipping sauce?
The team that won, want to know
what their name rhymes with?
Come on, dude.
You promised you'd stop
if I ate all those crayons.
Why are you doing this?
I'm in love with Miss Aldrin.
Well, you can't have Miss Aldrin,
she's mine.
Okay, now who did this?
I did.
Does that mean Marshall
gets a time-out?
Well, Marshall's
a grownup, so...
When one of us breaks something,
we get a time-out.
Sorry.
And after the Super Bowl,
the mayor of the losing
team's city had to pay up,
sending the mayor of
the winning team's city
15 pounds of a delicacy his
or her city is famous for.
Better fire up whatever type of grill,
steamer or fryer
one might use to cook that delicacy,
Winning Team's Mayor.
Hey.
- Hey.
- I'm not talking to you.
Yes, you are.
You'll do whatever I say.
- Hold your breath.
- I'm not holding my breath.
The winning team was the...
Now here's how this
is going to work:
you're going to take me to
three R-rated movies a week...
And then Uncle
Marshall got an idea.
It was not one he was
proud of in retrospect,
but desperate times...
Oh, no.
Somebody wet their pants.
- No, I didn't.
- Oh, really?
Who's everyone gonna believe?
I'm a grownup third-year
law student at Columbia
and you're just a little pants wetter.
So now I ask you a question:
You want to be able to quietly sneak
off to the restroom and dry off
or am I gonna have something
for show and tell today?
- Hey, everyone...
- Okay, okay.
You win.
I want my money back.
And your pudding snack pack.
Sir, who won the Super Bowl?
Sorry. I missed the game.
You missed...?!
How could he miss...?
Excuse me!
Who won the Super Bowl?!
I... don't really
follow sports.
Oh, my...!
Emmitt Smith!
Oh, thank God.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
You got to tell me,
who won the Super Bowl?
The game was last night?
You know, once you win two
or three of those things,
it's kind of like, eh.
But you're Emmitt Smith. You're a
football player, it's Super Bowl Sunday.
What could possibly be more
important than football?!
Dance, my friend. Dance.
No...!
Hello! It's me again.
Oh! I didn't recognize you.
Yeah, you forgot to give
me the dipping sauce!
Ah. Yes.
This is the one.
It was 4:00, and so far,
all of us had done the impossible.
But then,
almost simultaneously,
things started to go wrong.
And let's end the
day on a happy note.
There is a new arrival
at the Bronx Zoo.
Trish Sanchez has the story.
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, dude, look out.
And in honor of
yesterday's big win...
- Hey, buddy, look out.
- Dude, watch out!
...the zoo decided to
name the baby panda
after Super Bowl champions...
No...!
No...!
No...!
Yes...!
Awesome. Just in
time for kick-off.
None of you guys found
out the score, right?
- Mission accomplished.
- Didn't find out.
Great. Let's do it.
I already fast-forwarded
through the four hours of pre-game
coverage. So we are ready.
Barney, I can't
even look at you.
I don't want any
sign of who won.
Don't worry,
I'm not going to give anything away.
Feel free to start without me.
Ah...! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
So much money!
You screwed it up, Barney!
You screwed everything up!
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Okay, let's watch the game.
Barney, what the hell was that?
We know who you bet on.
Now you've ruined the
game for everyone.
Yeah. Thanks a lot, Barney.
Way to blow it.
Yeah, I didn't know
and now I do know.
There's no point in
even watching the game.
Well, at least the
commercials aren't ruined.
Wings are still good.
Beer still works.
Ah, what the hell.
Let's watch Barney
lose some money.
Hey, so check this out:
I got extorted by a
five-year-old today.
I almost got fired today.
I met Emmitt Smith today.
Ooh, you go first.
I tried out the Sensory
Deprivator 5000.
Yeah, go ahead, Barney.
Well, I was frantically
running down the street
trying to find out the
score to the game...
And here's the funny part,
as unforgettable as
that Super Bowl was,
here it is 23 years later and
I don't remember who won...
Hell, I don't even
remember who played.
What I do remember is
that we drank beer,
we ate wings and we watched
the Super Bowl together.
Because sometimes, even if you know
how something's going to end,
that doesn't mean you
can't enjoy the ride.
We even raised a toast
to good old Mike.
I mean Mark. Matt.
Crap! Why do I keep doing that?
I didn't only lose the game,
I lost every single prop bet.
Total penalty yardage,
number of replay-challenges,
coin toss...
What are the odds of
losing the coin toss?
50-50, give or take.
Interceptions, field-goals,
total sacks,
whether or not there'd
be a safety, first...
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