10/20/2011

How I Met Your Mother - S06E03 - Unfinished


<i>Kids, in my early days
of being a professor,
<i>I had one simple goal:
<i>give a lecture
that changes someone's life.
<i>Then one afternoon in 2010,
I achieved that goal.
Unfinished.
<i>Of all the words you could use
to describe La Sagrada Familia...
Brown, pointy, weird...
the one that really seems to stick
is "unfinished."
Why?
Because on June 7, 1926,
the architect Antoni Gaudi...
Whose beard was also brown,
pointy, weird and unfinished...
... was run over by a bus.
And so,
his greatest masterpiece
would remain forever...
<i>But first, let's back up a few days.
Ted, look across the bar.
Three chicks:
one hot, one kind of hot
and one who I'm assuming
is really funny.
We ride!
What?
I don't know.
Got a burger coming.
Bro, I told you,
if you ever need a wingman,
I'm your guy.
Yeah, I'm not going to go
through that again.
Hi.
Barney Stinson.
And I'm Marshall, Barney's wingman.
Thank you.
Fine. I'll have a threeway
with hot and kind of hot
while Giggles films.
I ride!
So, get this:
Last night, I was watching TV,
and some random satellite channel
picks up
a certain local Chicago newscast.
<i>And now, the 11:00 News
with Don Frank.
It's bad enough
to go through a horrible breakup,
but then have that person
pop up on your TV?
Are you okay?
I'll admit, at first,
I felt a little weird.
<i>But after the initial shock,
I realized something:
<i>I've moved on.
Finished with that.
It was a peaceful moment of closure.
Good.
Where's the poop?
Excuse me?
When I was a kid,
I had a dog named Bean.
Whenever he made the face
that you're making right now,
you just knew he pooped
somewhere in the house.
Where's the poop, Robin?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Where's the poop?
It wasn't entirely
a peaceful moment of closure.
Don, here's some breaking news:
there's a zit breaking out
on your forehead.
Finished with that.
I'm not proud,
but Don left so quickly
that I never got the chance
to have that final showdown.
Yelling at him, even on TV,
felt kind of good.
And you know what?
Now I truly am over him.
- That's great.
- Thanks.
Where's the poop?
Damn it!
In the process
of truly getting over him,
I may have called him
and left an...
indelicate voice mail.
I am gonna kill you.
I'm gonna fly to Chicago, kill you,
put your stupid face
on a deep dish pizza and eat it.
And then maybe catch a Bears game.
But mostly the killing
and eating your face thing.
Give me your phone.
We're deleting Don's number.
Don't worry.
I am never doing that again.
It was a one-time thing.
Prove it.
Delete contact.
There.
Deleted.
Back already.
How was flying solo?
And by "solo," I mean
so low that you got shot down.
Look, I didn't get shot down.
Trust me, I'll get the yes.
Barney Stinson always gets the yes.
This is all part of the plan.
After initial contact,
I'm now in the ignoring phase.
Why can't you just
take a girl out to dinner
like a normal person?
Golden rule: I do not buy dinner
to get the yes.
Dinner's a very intimate activity.
It requires
a level of connection
and eye contact
that sex just doesn't.
Call me old-fashioned, but I need
to have sex at least three times
before I'll even consider
having dinner with her.
<i>The next day,
<i>I had a surprise visitor.
Why are you here?
You're dating one of my students.
It's Rachel, isn't it?
She wears provocative sweaters,
but she's 19!
I'm gonna have
to hear all about it, right?
Go on, tell me every detail.
No, you pent-up old perv.
I brought you a present.
Recognize this?
It's my building.
<i>Kids, you may remember that,
a few years earlier,
<i>I was chosen to design
the new Manhattan headquarters
<i>for Goliath National Bank.
<i>It was the opportunity
every architect dreams about.
<i>And when the project
was ultimately scrapped...
<i>it broke my heart.
Do you remember how awesome
it was to be co-workers...
nay, bro-workers?
Wait, you don't mean...
It's back on.
We're gonna build your building.
<i>Team Who's this fucking mother ?
Synchronisation :
Kyros, MiniBen314, Strex
Adaptation :
Dark_Chii, H3AV3N, Kenji, Tactactac
Relecture : MiniBen314, Titou
6x03 - Unfinished (1.00)
.:: www.sous-titres.eu ::.
This is awesome.
You're designing our new headquarters.
There will be voices that tell you
a hockey rink on the roof
is unfeasible.
You've got to shut those voices out.
Actually, I think I'm gonna say no.
Are you kidding me?
But designing a building
in New York City is your lifelong dream.
I do not want to work for GNB again.
Those guys are evil.
No offense, Marshall.
Dude, none taken.
GNB is the Empire from Star Wars.
But the Death Star's gonna
get built either way.
Don't you think
the architect of the Death Star
is psyched to have
that thing on his space resume?
I mean, yes, his design was flawed
in the sense that a single bullet
fired into a particular vent
would explode the whole thing.
That was the contractor's fault.
But that won't happen on your watch.
Because you're Ted Mosby!
And you are gonna design
the most beautiful,
ventless, Rebel-proof building
in Manhattan,
with clearly marked emergency stops
for every trash compactor
on the detention level.
Look, I know this is
hard to understand,
but right now, I have a quiet,
simple, happy little life.
And I like it that way.
I know what my answer has to be.
I can't take the job.
I'm done with that life.
No hard feelings?
Of course not.
All right.
<i>And I thought that was the end
of the story. But then that night...
I'm telling you,
no architect would ever design
a giant exposed vent right over
a Death Star's core reactor.
That's Space Architecture 101.
It had to be the contractor.
Barney, back me up.
Dude, this is important.
I need another drink.
Marshall, you want anything?
No, I'm fine.
He's mad at me for turning down the job,
but acting like I'm not even here?
Wait, you turned down the job?
When?
This morning.
That's so weird.
Just an hour ago,
when we were leaving work...
So, you still think
Ted's gonna take the job?
Please.
I'll get the yes.
Barney Stinson always gets the yes.
Am I wrong or is that exactly
what Barney says when he's putting
the moves on a girl?
Exactly. It's like
he's putting the moves on you.
Yeah, more like the opposite.
He's been ignoring me all night.
Barney wants me to take the job so bad
he's putting the moves on me?
I hope that's his end game.
Actually, I don't.
I like you two together.
I don't buy it.
That's crazy, even for Barney.
Well, think about it.
We've seen his moves countless times.
What does he do after
he's done ignoring a girl?
Chrissy, I love your glasses.
Really?
They pull focus up from that whole
chin situation you got going on.
To Chrissy.
The backhanded compliment to lower
her self-esteem, a proven winner.
But Barney hasn't done...
I admire your loyalty.
You've had that hairstyle forever.
You don't care that it's out of fashion
or co-opted by the lesbian community.
You stick with it.
To Ted.
Hey, Lily!
Don't "Hey, Lily" me.
I smelled poop all the way
from the hallway.
- No, not this again.
- Where's the poop, Robin?
I left Don another message.
"This just in"
is what I'm gonna say
when I'm stabbing you.
But that's impossible.
- You deleted his number.
- I tried to.
But this thing popped up
that said, "Are you sure?"
And I wasn't sure.
I can't lie to my phone.
Oh, sweetie, I totally understand.
Delete it!
It's not that easy.
You're not just deleting a number,
you're deleting a part of your life.
All those memories,
all those experiences.
It's like you're admitting
they're gone forever.
I know, sweetie.
I know.
Delete it!
Okay, if it's that easy,
I'm gonna delete one of your numbers,
see how you like it.
My "plezh."
If you can find a number in there
that I don't call regularly,
I'll gladly delete it.
Super Kicks Karate.
No, not that one.
That's my dojo.
You have a dojo?
I took an introductory karate class.
Wrong room.
Where do the grown-ups go
for the real karate class?
What's the matter, lady?
You scared?
Of you? Please.
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
I hated kindergarten.
All three times.
But I'm totally gonna
sign up for more lessons.
How long ago
did you take that class?
I don't know. It was around the time
when everyone was going...
How do you even remember that?
Lily, this is a number
that you will never dial again.
- I might.
- No, but you keep it in your phone
'cause it reminds you of a version
of yourself that you could be,
even if it's a version of yourself
that you'll never become.
And that's okay.
No, it's not.
You know what?
There, gone.
Your move, Scherbatsky.
I finally know
what your kind goes through.
- I get it now.
- For the last time,
I don't care how big it was,
it is not the same as giving birth.
Barney's been
"putting the moves" on Ted.
That sucks.
Although I like you two together.
He's been doing it to try to get Ted
to design the new GNB Tower.
Which moves?
Did he do the thing where he brags
on himself in the form of a complaint?
Man, every time I take out
my business card
and women see the GNB logo,
they throw themselves at me.
I miss the chase.
It sucks!
Man, the courtside Knicks seats
that are available
to all upper level GNB employees
are too close to the action.
I keep getting sweat on my suit.
It sucks!
Man, GNB's benefits package
is so comprehensive
it gives me the freedom to see
any doctor I want.
It sucks!
- He did.
- And the intense eye contact thing?
So, Ted,
would you like to split
some jalapeño poppers?
And the thing where he establishs
intimacy through physical contact?
You know why jalapeño poppers
are so good? It's the cream cheese.
That is so true.
Cream cheese
has a mild flavor so it...
it balances out
the spiciness of the jal...
the spiciness of the...
Dude!
So at any point in this did you say,
"Barney, I know what you're doing,
"and it's not going to work.
I am not taking that job"?
Well, I mean,
not exactly in those...
You're loving this.
You are.
You're loving the attention.
It's nice to be wanted, okay?
And, yes, this is a new vest.
Thank you all for noticing.
That's right, you didn't.
Barney did!
You are so going to spread your legs
and design that building.
I am not that kind of architect.
So get this...
Robin never deleted Don's number.
Everyone thinks it's so easy.
Give me your phone.
Let's delete one of yours.
Okay.
No problem.
If you can find a number that
I don't need or shouldn't have in here,
be my guest, but good luck.
I keep my phone tight.
Not that one. That's the booker
for the club that my band plays at.
My all-lawyer funk band...
You remember...
The Funk, the Whole Funk
and Nothing but the Funk.
<i>Your witness lied
<i>So your case is sunk
<i>I sentence you to a life of funk
<i>Counselors, how do you plead?
<i>Funky.
Kick it.
You guys played one gig
four years ago.
I'm deleting it.
We're gonna play another gig again.
Probably really soon.
It's just we all got
super busy, and...
We're not gonna play
another gig again, are we?
Probably not, baby.
It's hard to hit
that delete button, isn't it?
Well, it's just that without
that number in my phone,
I'm just a corporate lawyer
working 60 very un-funky hours a week.
Sorry, Marshall.
But if I have to, you have to.
Your turn.
I gotta tell you something.
That reminds me.
I got you...
a little airplane.
It represents the spirit
of adventure.
Do you like it?
Do you?
Stop it. Stop looking at me
like I'm the only person
in the world who matters.
I'm not designing the GNB Tower.
I known you turned it down.
We hired someone else.
Can you believe it? He's resorting
to the oldest move in the book.
The classic, "pretend to take the offer
off the table so I'll want it more."
It's so obvious, right?
As if that's gonna make me be like,
"God, I never should have said no."
It's not a move, dude.
I executed the paperwork for
the new architect this morning.
Barney wasn't lying.
God, I never should have said no!
Come on, GNB didn't really
hire a new architect.
This is just one of Barney's moves.
It's not a move, dude. The senior
partners were getting impatient.
I thought
you didn't even want the job.
I didn't!
I don't!
I don't.
I don't!
- Okay, I'll do it!
- What?
It's too late.
I'll design it for half of what
you're paying the other architect.
And you know I will do stuff
they would never do.
Lobby stuff.
Half?
- On behalf of Goliath National Bank...
- Okay, it's a move.
- What?
- Dude!
There is no other architect.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry I lied.
I was being Barney's wingman,
and I never get to be the wingman.
You guys lied to me?
You're the world's worst wingman.
You know what? I'm out of here.
I can do better.
Take me back.
You son of a bitch!
Look, I can't do business
with people who lie to me.
We only lied to you to make you
realize that you want this job.
I don't.
I mean, I know I said I did,
but that's only
because I fell for the same
creepy, pickup artist voodoo
of yours that countless women...
- 236.
- ... before me fell for.
Respect.
You want to do this, okay?
You're just scared
of getting hurt again but,
you can't let fear steal your funk.
That is good. There is
a song in there. Excuse me.
Come on, Ted!
- This is your dream.
- No, it's not. Not anymore.
And you know what? Letting go of that
dream was the best decision I ever made.
You guys actually think I have
some lingering itch to be an architect?
Work 20 hours a day and weekends?
To get ulcers and pull my hair
out and worry and doubt myself
and then at the end of it all,
have the rug pulled out from under me?
I love being a professor, okay?
All that stupid crap they tell you
about how fulfilling teaching is?
It's all true.
I'm happy,
and I'm not letting go of that.
My answer's no.
Hey, guys.
Where's the poop, Robin?
How do you do that?
You are like a bomb-sniffing dog,
except with poop.
You are a poop-sniffing dog.
I think that's just called a dog.
Where's the poop, Robin?
Fine. I called Don again.
Hey, Don!
It's Robin again.
Look, I am sorry for all the calls.
It's just, I saw you on the news,
and it made me a little crazy
for a minute.
I guess I wasn't as
over our breakup as I thought.
But I want to say,
from the bottom of my heart,
I am gonna kill you.
No... No, I'm not.
I am happy for you.
And that Asian slut on
your Facebook page. She's dead, too.
I thought you deleted his number.
I did,
but it turns out, I memorized it.
You can't delete contacts
from your brain, Lily.
Well, you have to try.
If you ever want to have closure...
I am never going to have closure.
Okay? Closure doesn't exist.
One day, Don and I
are moving in together,
and the next thing I know,
he's on a plane to Chicago.
It just... ended.
And no matter how much I try
to forget that it happened,
it will have never not happened.
Don and I will always
be a loose end.
We'll always be...
Unfinished.
Gaudi, to his credit,
never gave up on his dream,
but that's not usually how it goes.
I mean, usually,
it isn't a speeding bus
that keeps the brown, pointy,
weird church from getting built.
<i>Most of the time,
it's just too difficult
<i>or too expensive, or too scary.
<i>It's only once you've stopped
<i>that you realize
how hard it is to start again.
<i>So you force yourself
not to want it.
But it's always there.
And until you finish it,
it will always be...
- Why aren't you in class?
- Why aren't you in class?
Why aren't you in class?
You son of a bitch.
I'll call Marshall.
We'll draw up the contract.
Not so fast.
I'm not that easy.
<i>And so I made Barney
break his golden rule.
<i>I made him take me out to dinner
before I finally gave him the thing
<i>he always got.
Yes.
<i>And even though
it didn't happen right away...
<i>And now, the 11:00
News with Don Frank.
<i>Bueno?
Who is this?
<i>No hablo ingles.
Quien es?
I'm sorry. Is this 917-456...
I'm sorry, 465...
No, wait.
<i>Robin finally got some closure, too.
Sorry. Wrong number.
Finished with that.
Hey, punk!
Bit of advice.
Next time you step on a
kindergarten teacher's neck,
you better finish the job.
I knew this day would come.

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