<i>NARRATOR: Kids, in the spring of 2011,
Zoey and I broke up.
<i>But the good news:
<i>Goliath National Bank
<i>was finally ready
to demolish The Arcadian
<i>and build the new headquarters
I'd designed for them.
Ho!
<i>The only problem was--
I kept butting heads
<i>with my project supervisor
on one very important issue.
I want to press the button
to blow up The Arcadian!
I want to press it!
I want to press it!
I want to press it!
Guys, I dated
you both,
and neither of you
is good at pressing
or even finding
the button.
After some awkward
pawing around,
that building's going
to fake an implosion,
say, "Baby, that was great""
and go to sleep.
She means you.
She means you.
I want to press it.
I want to press it!
I'm gonna press it!
I'm gonna press it!
It's just a button, okay?
Can we just talk about
something else, please?
(sighs)
Well, I ran into Zoey yesterday.
Oh.
Oh.
That's the first time
since the breakup.
How's she doing?
I'm still unemployed,
so I had to get
a couple roommates.
Saving money.
Making new friends.
No downside.
They're all 22 and sell drugs.
Which means they're
not taking them.
So, that's a win.
Well, I can tell
you're really busy
so I should...
I'll let you go.
Hey.
You want to get coffee
sometime?
You know that "coffee" is code for
"I want to get back together" right?
Well, at first I wasn't sure,
but then she said something
that got me thinking.
I want to get back together.
Oh!
Oh!
Don't worry, we're not.
I just, I feel bad Zoey's
having such a hard time.
You know what might...
make you feel better, buddy?
I'm not letting you
press the button.
I want to press
the button!
You're not pressing the
button! It's my button!
<i>Sadly, that's all you need
to know about my summer.
<i>Now, around this time,
Uncle Marshall
<i>was still having a tough time
finding a job.
He's out printing out a
whole new batch of résumés
because he misspelled the phrase
"detail-oriented."
And when he gets back home,
he is going to find
his favorite soup
there waiting for him.
Oh, that's sweet, Lil,
but didn't you guys get
food poisoning here one time?
Three times.
But they're really nice
about it.
Their policy is, "Get sick,
get a free gallon of soup""
(sneezing)
<i>And so, Lily dropped off
Marshall's surprise soup
<i>and headed back to work
to introduce the new class pet.
This is Mr. Buttons 2.
Now, after
what happened
to Mr. Buttons 1,
we have to be very gentle
with... (retching)
Marshall!
(brakes screeching)
(retching)
Don't eat the soup!
Oh, thank God. (panting)
This was about to be
my third bowl.
Why shouldn't I eat the soup?
(retching)
Why shouldn't I eat the soup?
<font color=#ffff00>¶ How I Met Your Mother 6x24 ¶</font>
<font color=#00ffff>Challenge Accepted</font>
Original Air Date on May 16, 2011
== Resync by <font color="#00ff00">jacobian @ Hdbits.org</font> ==
Hey, Mr. Architect,
big day for you
tomorrow, huh?
Yeah. Getting to stand next
to me while I press the button.
That is going to be legend...--
wait for it-- ...dary adjacent.
Legendary adjacent!
You okay?
Yeah... no.
This morning I was
talking to the foreman.
Hey, hotshot.
You know, Rod, um, I'm
loving that nickname,
and I can tell
it's totally affectionate,
but, uh, I'd prefer Ted.
Yeah, but you're
such a hotshot,
I figured I'd just
call you hotshot.
Pick one.
And make sure you like it.
There's going to be
50,000 of these
in your big, hotshot
building, hotshot.
50,000 lightbulbs!
What if this one's too bright?
What if this one flickers
and gives everyone
a weird headache?
Do you know
how many people
it takes to change
50,000 lightbulbs?
Are these people Irish,
Polish, blondes--
what are we dealing with here?
There's just-- there's so
many decisions to be made.
What if I make all
the wrong ones
and my building
just sucks?
Not possible.
Your building is new.
And I have one rule:
New is always better.
You can't keep saying
you have one rule
if they're always
different rules.
Ah, but "new is always better"
is my oldest rule,
which makes it the best.
Hi, Marsh.
Oh, hey, buddy.
TED:
Hey.
Everything okay?
Lily got food poisoning
from some soup.
(Barney sighs)
And then I ate the soup
exactly three hours later.
Which means I can see exactly
three hours into my future, and
it... doesn't... look... good.
<i>I tried to be supportive.
Oh, baby, can you
just hold me, please?
Of course, baby.
<i>But it doesn't help it
that when Lily gets going;
<i>she sounds like a velociraptor
from Jurassic Park.
(roaring)
<i>But then I realized
<i>a man can do a lot of living
in three hours.
So, I'm out experiencing this
beautiful, crazy dance called life.
Ah, my last meal.
MacClaren's famous
jalapeño poppers.
My doctor says
I need to eat healthier,
so I figured
the round-trip flight
these babies are about to take
will land them permanently
on the no-fry list.
Good-bye, my friend.
It's been a hell of a ride.
I have to...
Hey, babe.
The gang says
feel better.
Mm. Thanks. Wait,
you didn't tell them
I had food poisoning, did you?
Um, I...
Marshall,
when it's stomach stuff,
you just say
"under the weather,"
or people start picturing you
doing unspeakable things.
I know.
I just said that
you had the sniffles.
No one is picturing
anything but little
red-nosed you
under a blankie
with some hot tea.
I wonder what end it's coming
out of Lily right now.
I bet it's her tushie.
I bet it's both.
(imitating explosions)
Hey, speaking of explosions--
enough already, Ted!
That button's mine!
Yeah, fine, okay.
I got you this job, so I...
Say what?
Whatever.
It's yours.
I gotta run.
You...
(phone ringing)
Hello?
Yes, it is.
It's Bloom, Greenberg
and Associates.
They want me to come interview.
(roaring like velociraptor)
Yes, I know it's risky to go,
but this is the best
environmental law firm
in New York.
It's my dream job.
(roaring like velociraptor)
That's a great idea, babe.
I'll ask them.
Hey, is it at all possible,
could I come in on Monday?
Okay, I'll, I'll see you
at 5:00.
Thank you.
(roaring like velociraptor)
I love and believe in you, too,
baby.
Why would Ted
just give up the button
like that?
(text alert chimes)
And he forgot his phone.
"See you in an hour."
Who's that from?
Zoey.
They're meeting for coffee.
Ted's getting back together
with her!
Why would Ted get back together
with Zoey? He's doing great.
After a breakup,
we all think we're doing great.
Sometimes the tiniest trigger
can unravel you and send
you crawling right back.
No,
I refuse to believe that Ted
is getting back with Zoey
because of lightbulbs.
Uh, Ted's gone back for less.
(fizzling out)
Hi, Natalie.
You want to get coffee sometime?
Bro.
Ted, I only have one rule.
(voice cracking):
But I can't reach
the worst part.
Hi, Karen.
Want to get coffee sometime?
TV ANNOUNCER:
Coming up next,
our two local pandas,
Ming Ming and Bao Bao,
are expecting a baby.
Robin, you want to get coffee
sometime...?
(blowing raspberry)
Get it together, bro.
According
to my calculations,
at 6:00 p.m.,
my body is gonna pay out
like the most disgusting
slot machine in the world.
That gives me two hours
to go do the interview
and still get back in time.
Oh, but, baby, what if
you hit the jackpot early?
Don't worry.
I'll be prepared.
(military battle preparation
score playing)
(exhales sharply)
(laughing)
I'm talking your ear off, sorry.
Is there anything
I can do for you, sweetie?
Can... I... borrow...
an adult diaper?
We've got to stop Ted.
Where are they meeting?
Okay, Zoey wrote, "Meet me
at 6:00, where it all began,
where you gave me the orchid
at the intersection."
Well, that's good.
All we have to do is think back
to the time Ted told us
about his first date with Zoey.
Amazing first
date with Zoey!
We met at the
intersection.
(voice turns into "wah wah"
Charlie Brown's teacher's voice)
Aw, that's sweet.
You weren't listening either?
I was in a coma.
I mean, who pays attention
to that sappy romantic crap?
(scoffs)
BOTH: Lily!
Yeah, I wasn't
listening, either.
Ted really can go on
about a bitch.
Great. He could be anywhere.
We're flat out of clues.
Hey, wait. Ted left a message.
I could hear it 'cause
I was in the bathroom...
blowing my nose--
I have the sniffles.
(answering machine beeps)
TED: Hey, Lily,
hope you're feeling better.
Marshall told us you're
exploding from both ends
like a busted fire hydrant.
Damn it, Marshall.
Anyway, listen, I was going to
get back together with Zoey
today,
but I came to my senses
on the way out here, so...
False alarm.
(Robin and Barney laugh)
Oh, crap.
Just stepped in some gum.
I'm getting back together
with Zoey!
(both sigh)
Okay, we're never
gonna find him.
Wait, wait, wait.
That's was a subway announcement
in the background.
I speak conductor.
Hey, Lily, hope
you're feeling better.
Marshall told us...
Got it.
Ted's at...
(roaring like
velociraptor)
Oh...
(Lily sneezes)
Ted's at Smith
and Ninth Street.
That's the intersection.
That's in Brooklyn. How are we
ever gonna get there in time?
Way ahead of ya.
Hello!
Marshall. Jake Bloom.
Great to meet you.
Hello, hi.
Hey. Oh, I'm sorry
about the stench.
We're suing a factory
that's been dumping raw sewage
into a local marshland.
Yeah, ten minutes ago,
I was knee-deep
in liquefied human feces.
And that was just
on the F train.
(laughs)
(laughs weakly)
I can't believe Ted's getting
back together with Zoey.
I know. They're
a total train wreck.
Unmitigated disaster.
Worst couple ever.
Yeah, almost as bad as us.
(chuckles)
We were a mess.
(chuckles)
Do you remember how awful
I looked by the end?
My hair was falling out,
my skin was gray,
my back was hunched.
What about me? I got so fat,
<i>at the end of a date,
you'd unhook my bra.
You were the only boyfriend
I ever motorboated.
(both chuckle)
Thank God we're not
sentimental saps
who panic
and get back together.
Seriously,
why would people do that?
I guess I get it.
What do you mean?
Well, no matter how bad
things got...
Ted really did love Zoey
for a minute there.
Didn't he?
Yeah... he did.
And... she loved him, too.
Didn't she?
Yeah, she did.
(car stops)
(clears throat)
Smith and Ninth Street.
So, let me show you some
of the gut-wrenching
environmental atrocities
that we were working
to stop, okay?
Here, pop quiz.
What is that?
That's a seal.
Bingo! Yes, a bloated
seal corpse
rotting in industrial waste.
Mm-hmm.
Now, wait till you see
what we found
when we cut him open.
Okay, where the hell
are they?
Maybe this isn't
the intersection.
Well, maybe it is
and we're too late.
Man, I wish we'd gone
to Brooklyn sooner.
I know, right?
Ever since the Trader Joe's
opened up,
Brooklyn is so... whatever.
Wait. Where'd
you get that?
Across the street
at the Intersection.
So, uh, you guys... want
to buy some weed or...?
She's alone!
There's still time!
But where the
hell is Ted?
Wait a minute.
On their first date,
he brought her an orchid.
How much do you want to bet
he's gonna do it again?
Brilliant. But wait,
he had a huge
head start on us.
There's no way
he's still in there
unless he spent a half an hour
picking out the perfect orchid.
Thanks, Julia!
You know what? Let me see
the pink lady slipper again.
Now, do you know
what that is?
A pile of rotting seagull
carcasses
covered in toxic sludge.
Being eaten by rats. Exactly.
Now this next slide...
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's my wife's water birth.
I don't know how that got
in there.
(sighs)
Anyway, that's all my questions.
<i>Oh, my God, I made it!
<i>Now just shake his hand,
clench your very soul
<i>and run like hell!
Now, I like to set aside
20 minutes at the end
of every interview
for your questions.
So don't hold back.
Whatever you got inside there,
you just let 'er rip.
<i>I can't do this anymore.
<i>I'm just gonna tell him
the truth.
When it's stomach stuff,
you just say
"under the weather"
or people start picturing you
doing unspeakable things.
I have food poisoning and I'm
about to start volcanoing
toxic sludge out of both ends!
Nailed it.
Thanks, Julia!
(sighs)
No, on second thought.
(yelling)
Ooh! Come on.
What the hell?!
You can't get back together
with Zoey just because
you're freaking out
over a lightbulb.
I'm not freaking out
over a lightbulb!
I'm freaking out over
50,000 lightbulbs!
I can't do this!
I only got this job because
you gave it to me, Barney.
I didn't earn it!
Look, Ted, the future is scary.
But you can't just run back
to the past
because it's familiar.
Yes, it's tempting.
But... it's a mistake.
You're right.
Um, excuse me.
Can you give this to the blonde
sitting alone in there
and tell her Ted's really sorry?
Also... indirect sunlight.
Don't overwater. Half a cup
a week is more than enough.
No.
Hi.
<i>And kids...
<i>that's how I met your mother.
Psych. It was just some chick.
Hey, baby, how'd it go?
Lily, this year, this nasty
schoolyard bully of a year
will not stop punching me
in the face.
How did we kick off 2011?
My dad died.
And now after five months
of unemployment,
I just blew my dream job.
The good news is,
in a few seconds,
I'm gonna start heaving
my guts out
because that's what life is
for me now;
just losing what's inside
until I'm just empty.
Baby, come here.
I just want to shut my eyes
for a few seconds
before it starts.
<i>And Marshall slept...
<i>...all night.
Okay, hotshot.
Mr. Stinson.
Who's gonna do the honors?
He is.
You sure?
Yeah. You earned it.
All clear!
Hey, new is
always better, right?
Always.
Ten, nine,
eight...
Lily, it's a miracle.
I didn't get sick.
I didn't get sick.
I know, baby.
I'm pregnant.
ROD:
...one!
¶ Let it roll across the floor ¶
¶ Through the hall
and out the door ¶
¶ To the fountain of
perpetual birth ¶
I'm proud of you
for giving Ted the button.
It meant a lot.
It's just a button.
(voice breaking):
Can we talk about
something else, please?
(chuckles)
(muttering)
Nora.
Hi.
How you been?
Fine.
Look, I don't
know why
you would possibly say yes
to this, but would you want
to grab a cup of coffee with me
sometime?
20 minutes.
I was such a jerk to you.
You can spend the entire time
calling me
every dirty name in the book.
I speak four languages.
I'm gonna need more
than 20 minutes.
I'll call you.
You look beautiful,
by the way.
And here I thought
it was too late for sundresses.
It's never too late, Barney.
Challenge accepted.
LILY:
Best man?
You're being summoned.
Geez, what now?
I heard the groom needed me.
What do you think of this tie?
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