And so, after six months apart,
Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall
were finally back together.
Oh, my God.
These pancakes are delicious!
Yes. Thank you.
Um, I learned how to cook while
you were gone this summer.
Oh. Do you want to
cook dinner tonight?
Yeah, sure.
How about pancakes?
And things were back
to normal... almost.
You may not have much range,
but at least I'm marrying a guy
who knows how to make pancakes.
Oh, um...
I mean, um...
Well, I... I realize that we
haven't really discussed
whether us getting back together
means us getting married, but...
I still wanna.
Do you still wanna?
Really?
Of course, I love you.
No, I mean,
that's how you're gonna do it?
"Do you still wanna?" That's
like the lamest proposal ever.
When I did it, I got down on my knees...
I don't know, I'm just saying.
Marshall Eriksen,
will you ma...
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- What?!
You can't lead with that.
You got to... build up to that.
You got to have,
like, a little speech.
Do you remember your
proposal to me?
I had a speech prepared.
What do you want to hear?
I don't know.
I mean, you could tell me,
like, about how good-looking
and funny and smart I am
and I've been
working out lately.
It might be nice for you to
mention something... about that.
Marshall...
- you are good-looking...
- Thank you.
- You're funny.
- Oh, thanks.
- You're smart.
- And a few tears wouldn't hurt.
Okay, would you freakin'
marry me already?
I'll marry you. Of course.
But, um, until you see a ring on this
finger, don't expect me to put out.
Yeah, right.
Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Willow's Team
www.forom.com
I'll give you this.
That was a very
creative use of syrup.
I can't even look Mrs.
Butterworth in the eye.
Oh, my God.
We're getting married!
I know, I know.
It was a moment of happiness,
followed of course by a
moment of total panic.
See, when they called
off their first wedding,
Aunt Lily took off
for San Francisco
leaving Uncle Marshall
with the unfortunate task
of telling his entire family.
Yeah, so now she's gone
and the wedding's off.
What do you call someone who just
takes off and leaves like that?
What do you call that?
I think that that's
a little strong.
I can't even believe you
would use a word like that.
Geez, Grandma.
Man, I made a big mess by
canceling this wedding, didn't I?
It's okay, baby.
You're not just realizing that now,
are you?
God, the idea of standing up
there in front of all those people
who hate my guts...
just makes me want to run off to
Atlantic City and get married today.
Yeah.
Coming up at 11:00:
Are there piranhas in the East River?
What you don't know...
could eat you.
Robin! Stop the news!
- What the hell?
- It's okay. They're my friends.
We're going to Atlantic City to elope.
You got to come with us.
Oh, my God,
that is so fantastic!
I-I don't know if I
can just leave work.
It's okay;
Mike can read the news tonight.
Hey, Mike...
you can read, right?
Yeah, I'm the best at reading.
- Let's go to Atlantic City!
- Yeah!
You guys are eloping!
Oh, that's fantastic.
Wait, is this because there's a time
crunch Uncle Ted should know about?
I hope not because I plan
on getting hammered.
Guys, this sounds like so much fun,
but I can't really take off work.
I'm kind of important around here,
you know? I'm the project manager.
Ted, for the rest of our lives,
we are going to be
telling the amazing story
of how we went to Atlantic
City and got married.
Don't you want to
be in that story?
Of course I do.
- Let's go to Atlantic City!
- Yeah!
Oh, but when we tell the story, can you
leave out the part where I hesitate?
You got it.
Hey, guys.
Wow. A pedicure.
Uh, if there were any shame
in a dude getting a pedicure
I don't think there would have been a
feature about it in Details magazine.
We're going to Atlantic
City to elope right now!
Oh, congratulations, Lily.
Marshall, you're getting married?
What the hell?
So are you in or not?
Hell, yeah, I'm in!
Just... I'm almost done.
- No, we got to get going to the...
- Well, actually, I mean...
It is my wedding day,
and since we're here...
So we all got a pedicure
and then headed down...
to Atlantic City.
Wow. Look at this place.
I guess I'll have my
pick of something old.
And something blue. Somebody
should really check on this lady.
Ah, A.C., always in decline,
never hitting bottom.
It's good to be back,
old friend.
You been here before?
Oh, uh, once or twice.
Barney!
Ah, good to see you, too.
Three times, maybe.
The wedding chapel--
this is it.
Are you ready to do this?
I'm ready.
- Let's get married.
- Yeah.
Oh, crap. I don't have a veil.
I'm a bride;
I can't get married without a veil.
And a bouquet.
I need a veil and a bouquet.
Oh, my God,
we're getting married.
Don't worry. Relax.
We'll get you a veil, honey.
Oh, Robin,
that's a really cute outfit.
Oh, really? Thanks.
Yeah, it has to go. I'm the bride;
you can't look better than me.
Done.
I'm going to get the bouquet.
You guys get the veil.
We'll meet in the
chapel in 20 minutes.
Ready, break.
You guys want to go gamble?
No, we got to go get the veil.
Or we looked everywhere,
and we couldn't find one.
Yeah, okay.
No, you guys go ahead.
I'm going to find the veil.
So this is it, right?
The last 20 minutes of your single life.
- I'm proud of you, buddy.
- Thanks.
- How are you feeling?
- Great, a little nervous.
- Yeah? Craps?
- Not that nervous.
- No, I mean do you want to play craps.
- Oh, yeah, definitely.
Okay, I got the veil.
She wasn't ready to be married.
All right,
let's talk bachelor party.
Are we thinking full-on strip club,
or should we rent a room
and have a private
toy show-- whew.
What did you just say?
- Barney, no.
- Marshall, I'm your best man.
- You're not my best man.
- Right here.
And as your best man,
I have to throw you a bachelor party.
That's part of
being a best friend.
- You're not my best friend.
- Right here.
Barney, I don't have any
time for a bachelor party.
I've got, like, 18 minutes.
18 minutes.
Oh, good. Did you get the veil?
Of course.
And it took us
exactly 18 minutes.
We went to a strip club.
- Dude!
- Unbelievable!
We weren't there for very long.
It's not like I had time
to have a lap dance or anything.
I got a lap dance.
- Your last lap dance ever.
- Right...
What?
Okay, I'm here. Right?
Oh, God, the things people
waste money on in Atlantic City.
Does it smell like
strippers in here?
That's weird, right?
Marshall and Lily
are getting married!
Hell, yeah, look at this.
Oh, baby, this is it.
- Let's do this thing.
- All right.
Hi. We're here to get married.
Congratulations. We offer
a variety of packages
to give you the special day
you've always dreamed about.
We don't want any of that. Just your
basic quickie wedding will be fine.
Yeah.
You know this
isn't Vegas, right?
Well, sure.
In Vegas, the casinos pump in oxygen.
Here, it looks like
everyone brought their own.
What?
It also takes three days to get
a marriage license in New Jersey.
The earliest I could
book you for is Monday.
No, no, no, it has to be today.
That's the whole point.
Look, I don't know what to say,
but if you guys don't want
to book a wedding for Monday
or play a round of keno,
I can't help you.
Thirty-five.
Wait, I don't understand, people get
married in Atlantic City all the time.
Yes, they do,
but they don't elope.
They choose Atlantic City
for its white sand beaches,
world-class amenities,
and exotic Riviera feel.
Have you been outside?
There is half an orca whale rotting
not 20 feet from the cabana.
You guys, take it easy, guys.
Are you sure about this?
About the marriage laws of the state
where I work in a wedding chapel?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Bright side:
the bachelor party continues!
Yes!
Continues? You mean
"start." He means "start."
We went to a strip club.
Twenty-seven.
Is there any way that we
could get a license today?
You could go to the courthouse.
In some extreme circumstances,
the waiting period can be waived,
but you have to
have a good reason.
Well, we're in love.
What better reason
could there be?
The last one I heard was,
"I'm going to Iraq tomorrow
to defend my country,"
but, you know,
give yours a whirl.
So we went to the courthouse.
God, this is taking forever.
Can't believe they're
getting married.
I know.
I am so proud of these two.
After all they've been through.
In fact,
that crazy road has led them
all the way here
to Atlantic City.
Ted, up here.
You were just staring
at my shirt boobs.
No! I wasn't.
I-I was checking out the hot
bod underneath the shirt.
Okay, look,
maybe I was looking at your shirt,
but it's a, it's a funny,
funny shirt.
Hey, it's Barney!
- Barney!
- Hi.
...suit up.
...legend.
...Daddy.
American daddy.
What the hell was that?
A... Chinese guy?
Hi. Hello.
Uh, we need a marriage license,
but we need to skip the
waiting period because...
we're in love.
Aw. I'm gonna waive this
waiting period right now.
Oh, really?!
Is what I would say if I could
waive the waiting period,
but unfortunately,
only a judge can do that.
Oh. Well,
so can we see a judge?
- Absolutely.
- Really?!
Is what I would say if there was any
chance of you seeing a judge today,
which there isn't.
Why are you doing this to us?!
'Cause you're on Candid Camera!
- Really?!
- Is what I would say...
You know what? We get it.
Okay, this is a good plan B.
Judges are people.
People go to the batoom.
A judge is bound to
come by eventually,
and we'll get married.
I'm sure we won't
be waiting long.
Geez, you go to a vending
machine for 30 seconds.
Vultures.
What?
Here?
Yeah. Got a little
time to kill.
Oh, my God,
it's the T-shirt, isn't it?
No.
A little.
Something is seriously
wrong with you.
So what, is that a no?
- All right, let's do it.
- All right.
Um, also...?
- Yes, I'll leave it on.
- Sweet.
Guys, let's bail.
This is never gonna happen.
Look, I know this is turning
into a bit of a disaster,
but believe me,
it's better than the alternative.
You throwing a big,
free party with lots of booze and food
and all your single,
desperate girlfriends from college?
Yeah, glad we
dodged that bullet.
Judge! Judge, come on.
Come on, come on, come on!
- Turn it off.
- Okay.
May we please get
married today?
Now, normally I would say
no to a request like that,
but you two impress me.
Just the fact that you've
been together for ten years,
standing by each other's
side through thick and thin,
never wavering.
- What was that?
- What was what?
That little look.
What was that?
A look of love.
You two have stood together
through thick and thin, right?
- You know, what's thick, what's thin?
- Yeah, I mean, all... yeah.
I have.
All right, what was that look?
What's going on?
They broke up over the summer.
Lily totally ran off to San Francisco
and these two just had sex in the closet.
What? We're under oath.
No, we're not.
Yeah, we are. He's a judge.
Wh-- did we take an oath?
Do you even know
what an oath is?
Uh, yeah. Courthouse.
Oath. We're under it.
Guys. It's looking like
this isn't gonna happen.
No, Marshall,
we are gonna get married today.
Baby, anyplace we go,
we're gonna need a marriage license.
Except international waters.
So-so let's find
a ship captain.
A ship captain can marry us.
There's boats all
over this place.
Oh, is that what those wooden things
are floating between the garbage?
This is a great idea.
This is gonna work. Let's go.
Excuse me.
Are you a ship captain?
This is my machine.
- I should go talk to her.
- No, let me.
- Blackjack?
- Yeah.
Well, I found a guy who said he'd be
willing to put his boat in my slip,
so we're getting closer.
Okay, Lil, why is it
so important to do this today?
Because... if we
don't do it today,
I just know we're gonna wind
up having a huge wedding
with a huge crowd full of
huge Midwestern people
looking all disapproving
and judging me
while sipping little
cups of mayonnaise
and-and cracking runaway
bride jokes all night long.
- Nobody's gonna do that.
- No, they're not
because I'm not gonna
give them the chance.
I'm gonna find a ship captain and
we're gonna be married tonight.
Sweetie, this is crazy.
You're never gonna
find a ship capt...
Hey, Lily.
Found a ship captain.
- What?
- Yeah.
First guy we talked to.
Ship captain.
How great is that?
See? See, this is destiny.
So, captain, can you take us out to
international waters and marry us?
I sure can.
If there's two things I love, it's
bringing people together in marriage
- and making $5,000.
- What?
Deal. $5,000, okay, we can do that.
Come on, everybody.
Fork over your cash.
Don't think. Just do it.
I can get us that money.
How?
Have you noticed
that all day today
Chinese guys have been coming
up and saying hi to me?
Yes. Have you noticed I
haven't asked about it
because I'm too
scared of the answer?
Well, those are my
old gambling buddies.
Truth is...
I used to come here all the time.
Play an old Chinese game
called "Shing Hasabu Shing".
Had a small gambling problem.
Actually, it wasn't
so small. I...
kind of lost my entire
life's savings.
But tonight, I don't know,
I'm feeling hot.
I think I can win
us that money.
No, we're not letting you
gamble all our money away.
Uh, it's not gambling if you
absolutely know you're going to win.
I'll get us that money.
I swear it, nay...
I oath it.
Now, I had been to a lot of
casinos before that night,
and I've been to a
lot of casinos since,
but in all that time I've never
seen a game quite like this one.
To this day,
I have no idea how it was played.
But luckily, Barney did.
Do you understand
what's happening?
Not a clue.
Do you think he's winning?
I don't even know
if he's playing.
Wait, I get it.
I understand this game.
No, you don't.
I totally understand
the game, Theodore.
Barney, split your tiles. You can triple
your money if you find the jellybean.
Marshall, please.
Don't you think I know what I'm...
My God, you're right.
Wow. It's beautiful.
Thanks, Barney.
Did you guys see me?
I was on fire tonight.
Man, I can't wait to
get back to the shore.
God, I love gambling!
When we get home, we're gonna
go to a little meeting. Okay?
Why can't I do it
just a little?
Okay.
Let's get this started.
Okay, uh...
you guys want the serious
one or the funny one?
Oh, I think...
serious would be best.
You sure? I got a lot of
great nautical jokes in there.
Like how you two float each
other's boat, stuff like that.
Yeah, serious is probably good.
"We stand witness today
"to celebrate the union
of Lily and Marshall.
"Today, you two
will become one,
"sharing your lives,
"the happiness, the sadness,
"the frustrations
and the joy..."
This is pretty cool.
I can't believe you never
want to get married.
I never said "never."
"...to declare your love
"and devotion to each other
"in front of
friends and family,
"all the people who
matter most to you."
What was that?
What was what?
That little look.
You two just shared a look.
- We don't want to do this.
- We don't.
Are you kidding me?
You guys are calling
off another wedding?
After I spent all this
money on a bridesmaid shirt?
Did I bet someone that they'd call it
off? I did, didn't I? Who'd I bet?
You actually expect any of us are
gonna come to your third wedding?
Yes.
'Cause it's gonna be amazing.
Look, before I was afraid
to face Marshall's family
and-and I didn't want to
do all that work, but...
now that we're here...
I realize that I have to
face Marshall's family
and I really want to
do all that work.
So do I.
And yeah... my family
might still be upset with you.
But when they see us up there, they're
gonna see how much we love each other
and none of that other
stuff is gonna matter.
- I love you, Marshall.
- I love you, too, Lily pad.
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
- What?!
- What?!
What, is that not right?
Are... we married?
Did you just marry us?
Weren't you listening?
We don't want to be married.
Uh... I-I suppose I
could unpronounce you.
- Unpronounce us.
- Unpronounce us!
All right,
I unpronounce you man and wife.
Oh, whew... that was close.
And that's the story of how
Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily
got married for 12 seconds
somewhere off the
coast of Atlantic City.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
Ted.
Is Robin here?
Man, I hope so.
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