<i>Kids, as you know, I was designing
Goliath National Bank's new headquarters
<i>on the site of this old hotel,
The Arcadian.
<i>Problem was, some people didn't want
The Arcadian torn down.
<i>Even bigger problem,
they were led by my girlfriend Zoey.
Hang on, hang on, hang on!
Hey, sweetie!
Are we still on for dinner
at 8:00 at Valenzisi's?
That's great!
I can't wait!
<i>That's great.
I can't wait!
<i>But somehow,
Zoey and I were making it work.
Ted, why are you dating
our arch-enemy?
Wile E. Coyote wasn't trying
to sleep with the Roadrunner.
Or maybe he was.
Think about it.
The way that she bats her eyelashes
and shakes her tail feathers
in his face?
She wants it.
Isn't it hard for you guys
to be on opposite sides of{\* something like} this?
Of course you feel that way.
You and Marshall have basically melded
into one big hermaphroditic blob.
And that's fine for you guys.
But some of us want a partner
who challenges us to grow and evolve.
You guys are in screaming
matches all the time.
Growing matches.
<i>It was true, Zoey and I loved
to challenge each other.
The main character
is a young spoiled prince
thrust into leadership
after the death of his father.
<i>It's obviously a modern-day
retelling of Henry IV!
Are you kidding me?
<i>It's Don Quixote,
the classic quest story
with the hero-jester
and his long-suffering manservant!
<i>Clearly, when we're watching Tommy Boy,
we're watching two different movies.
No, you hang up.
No, you hang up.
No, you hang up.
No, you hang up.
No, you hang up!
No, you hang up.
No, you hang up.
No, you...
Hold on.
For the love of God, will one
of you idiots hang up the phone?
Why would you do that?
I thought you'd like it.
Who likes that?
I like it.
Your relationship sounds exhausting.
Maybe yours is a bit lazy.
Marshall and I have been together
15 years,
<i>and the only debate
we've had about Tommy Boy
is whether it's awesome
or super awesome.
That's love, bitch.
<i>Team Who's this fucking mother ?
Synchronisation :
Kyros, MiniBen314, Strex
Adaptation :
H3AV3N, Kenji, Luoleilina, tactactac
Relecture :
Titou
6x20 - The Exploding Meatball Sub (1.00)
.:: www.sous-titres.eu ::.
<i>Now around this time,
Marshall had truly come to hate his job.
<i>He hated the paperwork.
<i>{\pos(192,210)}He hated the coffee.
<i>He hated the dirty jokes.
<i>He hated everything.
{\pos(192,230)}- I have to quit.
- Quit GNB? Why?
{\pos(192,230)}I need to do better things
with my life, okay?
{\pos(192,230)}There's an opening
for an environmental lawyer
{\pos(192,230)}at the National Resources
Defense Council.
Sure, it pays less,
{\pos(192,230)}but I'd be saving the oceans,
saving endangered species...
{\pos(192,190)}Saving chicken bones
and an old boot to make hobo soup?
{\pos(192,210)}You can't pay your mortgage
with Hacky Sacks and good vibes.
You have my full support.
{\pos(192,210)}Then,{\* you're not going to be able to pay for} forgot that trip to Spain
that you've been planning.
{\pos(192,210)}Say good-bye
to riding around in gondolas,
{\pos(192,210)}and eating bratwurst
and seeing the pyramids.
{\pos(192,210)}I don't think you know what Spain is.
{\pos(192,210)}I know that a trip there
costs some serious lira.
- It's dinero.
- Where? I want his autograph!
<i>So Marshall walked in the next morning
all ready to quit.
<i>But then something weird happened.
<i>Suddenly, he didn't hate
the paperwork.
<i>He didn't hate the coffee.
<i>He didn't even hate the dirty jokes.
<i>Out of nowhere,
Marshall actually liked GNB.
- It's graduation goggles.
- What?
Graduation goggles,
like with high school.
{\pos(192,210)}It's four years of bullies
making fun of all the kids with braces,
{\pos(192,210)}even after the braces come off
and they can walk just fine.
{\pos(192,210)}But on graduation day,
you suddenly get all misty
{\pos(192,210)}'cause you realize you're never going
to see those jerks again.
I just had graduation goggles
with that guy Scooby I dated.
The guy who was basically a dog?
{\pos(192,210)}He was the worst kisser
I've ever been with.
But the moment
I decided to dump him...
I suddenly got kind of wistful.
He was a good boy.
I've been there, too.
Every time I'm done having sex
with a woman,
at first,
I never want to see her again.
But then...
No, that's pretty much it.
{\pos(192,210)}The point is, you can't trust
graduation goggles.
{\pos(192,210)}They're just as misleading
as beer goggles, bridesmaid goggles,
{\pos(192,210)}and that's-just-a-bulky,
outdated-cell-phone
{\pos(192,210)}in-his-front-pocket goggles.
That one was a bummer.
{\pos(192,210)}You're right.
{\pos(192,210)}Tomorrow, I'm quitting GNB.
You can't quit tomorrow!
{\pos(192,210)}The lady with the big nipples is coming{\*back}
to give a{\*nother} sexual harassment seminar,
{\pos(192,210)}and I bribed one of the maintenance guys
to keep the room at a brisk 55 degrees!
More than ever,
you have my full support.
You know, sometimes I feel
bad for Lily and Marshall.
I'm starting to feel bad
for Ted and Zoey.
It starts with an... "L?"
How can you not remember my name?
It's like they never
challenge each other.
They just automatically
agree all the time.
- They don't do that all the time.
- Yes, they do.
- No, they don't.
- Yes, they do.
It's like they
don't see eye-to-eye on anything!
Totally.
It rhymes with your name.
And I said my name was...?
I did it! I quit.
And then I walked right over to
the NRDC, and I took that job.
Good for you, sweetie.
It's a little less money
than I was expecting.
{\*I mean, c}Compared to what I was
making at GNB, it's nothing.
Actually compared to anything,
it's nothing. It's nothing.
The paid position just got filled,
so all I can do is volunteer right now.
You're cool with that, right?
Baby, if this is what you need
to do, we'll figure it out.
How's Barney handling you leaving?
There's a bunch of models
in the lobby,
and the gossip is
one of them is really a dude.
You wanna play
"Who's Hot and Who's Scott?"
It's always the one
in the turtleneck, Ted.
And no, I don't want to play.
Stupid Marshall ruined everything.
Come on.
Everything's not ruined.
- Guys, everything's ruined.
- What? Why?
Your girlfriend{\* somehow} got
the Landmark Preservation Committee
to agree to a hearing.
If they declare the Arcadian a landmark,
the whole project is dead.
{\*The good news is, I just }Good news, I got the phone number of
a husky-voiced hottie in a turtleneck.
{\pub}So, if the Landmarks Preservation
Committee sides with Zoey,
your whole project
goes down the tubes?
You must be furious.
I'm furiously enjoying
being challenged.
Why don't you admit that your girlfriend
challenging your every move
is getting you
a little murder-suicidey?
{\*Why don't you admit}And you that Marshall quitting his job
and taking an unpaid internship
- is killing you?
- It's not.{\*CP caché}
The downside to having giant, Japanese
anime eyes is{\* that} they're easy to read.
And yours are screaming,
"What about my trip to Spain,
deadbeat?"
The downside
to having a woman's mouth
is your feminine pout
gives away your true feelings.
And yours is saying,
"Oh, Zoey, why can't I be
on top just this once?"
We take turns!
Sometimes.
I just had the best first day
at the NRDC.
I'm sorry. Sorry.
Something Hershel said at work today.
Hershel?
Don't you guys know Hershel?
Didn't I tell you?
He's the new lawyer
who replaced Marshall at GNB.
He is so awesome and funny
and tall... taller than Marshall...
and he knows way more laws.
I'm glad you like your new co-worker.
There's no Hershel!
I was{\* just} saying that to make you jealous!
Why do you insist
we play these games?{\CP caché}
- Just come back to GNB already!
- I'm really loving my new job.
And I'm loving seeing you this happy.
I'm so glad to hear you say that
because I volunteered our apartment
for a big NRDC fund-raiser tomorrow{\* night}.
You're cool with that, right?
- Baby, you have my full support.
- Thanks, baby.
I gotta go.
The invitations are ready.
The party's for{\* a bunch of} environmentalists,
so I found a guy downtown
who makes biodegradable
party invitations
that can also be used
as toilet paper.
That's how I'm gonna use mine.
Why in the world do you care so much
whether Marshall works at GNB?
Care? I don't care.
I'm like, whatever. Marshall who?
He's stupid.
Hershel's way better.
Is it possible that with everything
that's gone on with your dad lately,
you might have some
unresolved abandonment issues
you're transferring onto Marshall?
You are worse than my shrink.
"Barney,
we have to talk about your father."
"{\*Barney,}I'm not gonna teach you{\* how} to hypnotize
people. You'll only use it for evil."
"{\*Barney, }I am not gonna conduct
a couples session
"between you and this woman.
She's obviously a prostitute."
I don't need this!
Half of the world's
most perfect couple!
I was thinking about {\*that woman's mouth}your comment
and I have three good comebacks.
One, your mom didn't seem
to mind it last night...
I need a favor. Would you mind
driving out to Kennedy with me
to pick up this famous ecologist
for Marshall's fund-raiser?
Apparently, he only speaks Spanish.
And you speak Spanish, right?
Perfect. Let's go.
Marshall, it's me.
Listen, I know I've been
kind of a jerk about your leaving GNB.
I just wanted
to call and say I'm sorry.
No apologies necessary.
We're good.
Good.
Any chance you might...
Maybe, I don't know... if you're
not busy, wanna have lunch today?
Buddy, I'd love to, but I can't.
That's cool.
No biggie.
Another time.
- How long have you been there?
- You don't remember?
I was in the neighborhood.
I just wanted to check in on you.
You seemed
really upset the other day.
No, I'm fine.
Well, you wanna go grab some lunch?
Sure.
You okay if I invite Marshall
to join us?
Right.
So...
Chinese?
{\*You know, j}Just because {\*Zoey and I}we are a different
kind of couple than you{\* and Marshall}
doesn't make us a worse couple.
You're right.
If you and Zoey are happy,
then who am I to judge?
I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God,
is that how support feels?
It's so warm and wonderful.
I've been so unhappy.
But I thought
you liked being challenged.
Nobody likes being challenged!
Couldn't she agree with me just once,
even on something little,
like what movie to see
or what topping to get on our pizza
or... I don't know, my lifelong dream of
building a skyscraper in New York City?!
In her defense, hamburger pizza, Ted?
What are you, 12?
You were right, Lily.
I mean, Zoey's great, but,
sometimes I do wish we were
a little more like you and Marshall.
There he is. Here we go.
I'm sorry.
I don't speak
whatever it is you're speaking.
- He speaks perfect English.
- Yeah, I know.
Why did you ask me to come?
So you can drive him
to the fund-raiser.
Supporting Marshall this much
is driving me crazy.
I'm going to Spain.
My flight leaves in 45 minutes.
<i>Adios, muchacho.
{\pub}Wait, what do you mean
you're going to Spain?
You were right.
If I hear myself say
"Baby, you have my full support"
one more time,
I swear I'm gonna murder someone!
What are you gonna tell Marshall, huh?
And when are you coming back?
I honestly haven't thought it all
the way through, and I don't intend to.
All I know is that
I'm a ticking time bomb,
and if I don't do something for me,
right away, I swear I'm gonna explode!
That's an evocative metaphor to use
for your nonthreatening,
totally patriotic emotions.
USA!
Okay, Lily, I get it.
Marshall's been asking a lot lately.
But the thing to do
is tell him you've had enough.
I've never been good at that.
And now, ever since his dad died,
I feel like it's my job to just
be fine with everything. But I'm not.
I'm not fine that he volunteers
our apartment for a giant fund-raiser
and that he's not thinking about
how we're gonna pay any of our bills
and that, apparently, we've
given up on trying to have kids.
I'm sorry, Ted, I just,
I gotta do this.
My bag?
No. I got it.
- There's nothing to talk about.
- You trashed your office today.
You obviously have some deep feelings
you're not confronting.
And I think they're about your dad.
- I don't wanna talk about it, okay?
- Why not?{\CP caché}
Because I don't.
And why am I explaining this to you?
You're the most secretive {\*person}one I know.
You never tell anybody anything.
I've never...
told anyone this before.
I was 16.
I was awakened around midnight
by the sound of my father
arguing with his business partner,
Andy Grenier.
As things grew heated...
I watched my father's hand
slowly coil around the heavy
antique clock on his desk.
The sun was just starting to rise
over the bramble orchard
as we packed the fresh earth down
with the flats of our shovels.
My dad and I
got our stories straight.
We walked back to the house
in silence and...
haven't talked about it since.
But sometimes...
on a still night...
you can still hear that clock,
ticking...
ticking...
ticking.
That's...
the most harrowing story
I've ever heard.
Is it true?
But it did get you
to drink three scotches,
which is why
you're ready to spill your guts.
Fine!
The reason I'm upset
about Marshall leaving GNB
is...
is...
The meatball sub.
It all started months ago
in the GNB commissary.
It was Meatball Sub Day.
<i>How I used to love Meatball Sub Day.
<i>And then, the most
humiliating moment of my life.
Buddy, I think you got a tiny little
bit of marinara sauce on your tie there.
<i>I plotted my revenge for weeks.
<i>But nothing seemed right.
<i>Then it hit me.
<i>The answer was
so elegant and simple...
<i>an exploding meatball sub.
<i>For months, I experimented.
More... marinara sauce.
<i>Finally, the sub was perfected.
<i>The plan was in place.
The snare was baited.
<i>And then...
he quit, Robin, he quit!
It's Meatball Sub Day
today, which is why
I wanted Marshall to come over
and have lunch. But no.
All that work wasted.
You want to make God laugh,
tell him your plans, right?
What is wrong with you?
- Thank you so much for coming.
- My pleasure.
I have to use the restroom.
Do you have some extra invitations?
Right over there.
Enjoy.
- Thanks for picking him up.
- Absolutely. Listen,
something happened at the airport...
- What?
- Well,
we got there, and Lily...
Sorry, I...
I had to park
and grab some ice. Sorry.
Thanks, babe.
You would not believe
how much this one has done
to help throw this party{\*, Ted}.
I don't know how she does it.
Can't be easy, huh, Lil?
Yeah. Listen, Marshall, I need
to talk to you about something.
No, you know what?
Me, too.
I wanna thank you for being
so supportive of me in all this.
I've been at the NRDC
for less than a week,
and I've already done more to be
proud of than in two years at GNB.
I can't believe how good it feels.
But now, it's time for me
to find a way to help the Earth
and get paid for it, because
I can't put that burden entirely on you.
So, starting tomorrow,
I'll look for something with a paycheck.
What do you think?
Baby, you have my full support.
What are you doing here?
{\*This is really important to Marshall, so }I came to show my support
to Marshall.
This you can be supportive of?!
What is that supposed to mean?
I have the chance to build a skyscraper
in the best city on Earth,
and who's the one leading the charge
to kill that dream? My girlfriend!
What about my lifelong
dream of not seeing
every beautiful building
in Manhattan bulldozed?
<i>And in that moment, I realized,
though I really cared about Zoey,
<i>I couldn't do this
for the next 50 years.
<i>I had to break up with her.
<i>But then...
<i>Kids, some couples
always support each other,
<i>and some couples
always challenge each other,
<i>but is one really
better than the other?
<i>Yes.
Support is better.
<i>Way better.
<i>But I'd have
to learn that the hard way.
{\pos(192,210)}You're too young.
This isn't fair.
{\pos(192,210)}We're not going anywhere, buddy. We're
gonna stay here right till the end.
Thank you, Marshall.
Can I ask one final favor, my friend?
Yes, of course, of course, anything.
Eat this meatball sub.
- Where'd you get a meatball...
- I don't have much time!
Yes, of course.
Of course.
Does this have some sort
of special meaning?
I'm not sick, you idiots!
I've racked up $30,000
of uninsured medical bills
for symptoms I don't even have.
Totally worth it!
You should see the look on your face.
Wait, you can't... 'cause
it's covered in marinara sauce!
Barney, you got a little
marinara on your pajamas.
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